bride and father

5 Steps: How to Ask Her Dad for Her Hand in Marriage

You’ve decided that she’s the one. She’s become the person you can’t imagine your life without. Now it’s time to start planning your proposal. But before that, you need to ask for her hand in marriage and have a chat with her father. Here’s exactly how:

bride and father

Talk it Out: First, make sure that you are on the same page as your girlfriend. Are you both ready to get married, and have you discussed where you envision your life together going? Whether you’ve clearly discussed everything or you’ve gotten enough hints from her, be sure that she is ready for this next step. It’s important to know what she wants before you share your intentions with her family or friends.

Establish a Relationship: Whether you live close to her family or far away, try to meet your father-in-law to be a few times before you speak to him about marriage. Just like you had to build a relationship with his daughter, you have to build a relationship with him. If you are close, get to know him, his interests and expectations. Spend time watching football, barbequing or doing any other activity he enjoys. If you’re now close by, try to use an upcoming holiday to meet her family and get to know them. That way it will be easier to keep in touch over the phone and establish a rapport before the big day.

Gauge His Personality: Is he serious and stoic or goofy and casual. Make sure to get to know his personality so that you can position the conversation in the correct way. His personality will also cue you in on what to say when you ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. He might be looking for a serious speech on your commitment or just a candid conversation about where you relationship is. Get to know him so that you know how to talk to him.

Plan What to Say: No matter when where and how you ask him, there are certain statements you must make. First, be sure to tell him how much you value and love his daughter. He needs to understand the depth of your commitment to her. Next, even if you don’t have your life mapped out, tell him that you’ve thought about the future, and have a plan to take care of his daughter. Then the big moment! You’ve got to express that you want to marry his daughter because you see yourselves spending the rest of your lives together. Finally, ask for his blessing and make him feel that he will continue to be an integral and important part of your lives.

Celebrate: Be sure to celebrate and enjoy this moment of bonding with your future father-in-law. Then start planning for the next big question- “Will you marry me?” And don’t get overwhelmed, use our engagement guide.


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